as the lightning flashes
by what a lovely way to burn
Summary: — as he pulled away, a flash of lightning illuminated tonks's flushed face, and she had never looked so beautiful to him.


_**author's notes:** written for danie (truebeliever831) through the gift-giving extravaganza 2019. prompt(s) will be at the bottom._

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 **as the lightning flashes**

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Remus didn't remember what it was like to be normal. Having been infected with lycanthropy at the age of four, he wasn't able to recall anything before he was transformed into a monster.

His parents were duly horrified. His father, Lyall, was a highly-paid, well-respected man and buried himself with work to pretend he didn't have the embarrassment of a werewolf son. His mother, Hope, cried as she listened to the pained howls her son emitted every full moon and treated him like he was going to break at any moment.

Remus pretended to not notice the whispers and stares as the rumors about him travelled fast, but it was hard. The Lupins moved several times during his childhood to get away from the rumors.

Remus tried to ignore the sickening hunch his parents wished he had died from the bite.

•

When he turned eleven, he received his letter from Hogwarts. At first, he refused to go. "Why should I?" he protested. "I'll probably maim everyone there the first full moon."

His father sent him to bed without any supper for speaking so carelessly of his "disease." His mother snuck in a few hours later with cookies and warm milk.

Not for the first time, Remus was reminded of the prejudice against him.

•

Remus was jumpy from the moment he boarded the Hogwarts Express. How had he ever let his mother convince him to do this? He was going to hurt someone!

He found an empty compartment and heaved his trunk into the luggage compartment overhead before slumping down on the worn seat. He pressed his nose against the window and stared out at the overcast skies. His parents had dropped him off, giving him vague directions of where to go. Thank goodness he'd found Platform Nine-and-Three-Quarters without too much trouble.

The train let out a shrill whistle and Remus jumped, clapping his hands over his ears. This close to the full moon, just about any sound over medium pitch hurt. Some older girls snickered as they walked by, ponytails bouncing. Remus slid further down in his seat.

It began to rain.

•

Remus never thought he would see this day — the day when he was _accepted,_ even being a werewolf. In fact, they'd _known_ he was a werewolf. But they didn't turn him in immediately. They didn't abandon him. They didn't scream or threaten to have him expelled.

Instead, they told him that he was still Remus, and that they still loved him.

Friends like James, Peter, and Sirius were one-in-a-million, and Remus was never going to let them go.

•

Ever since the death of James and Lily, and the imprisonment of Sirius, Remus had been living in a haze. It had been many years, yet his head was still foggy and he saw life through a distorted glass. Life had never been the most spectacular thing for him, being a werewolf and all, but it was even worse because of the cynical view he now had of everything and everyone.

Then Sirius was found to be innocent, and a bit of the haze disappeared. His opinion of the world lightened a little with the return of his best friend. But in its place was heavy guilt. Guilt for not believing Sirius when he'd said he was innocent. Guilt for not bothering to listen to what Sirius had to say. Guilt that he hadn't fought the Ministry for a proper trial for Sirius.

Only Sirius relieved that guilt by punching him in the arm repeatedly and then throwing himself into Remus' arms.

And for a while, at least, everything was right in the world.

•

When Sirius was killed that night at the Department of Mysteries, life went back to grey. Remus had seen the red spell out of the corner of his eye, and turned as if in slow motion — just in time to watch it strike his best friend directly in the chest, propelling him backward into the Veil.

The drapes fluttered shut behind Sirius. And the world lost colour.

•

It took many months for colour to begin seeping back into his life. It started with shockingly bubblegum-pink hair and an Auror who was far too young and far too pretty for Remus to believe was really interested in him.

But she was.

She was interested, and Remus was _more_ than interested, but it was inappropriate — she was more than a decade younger than him — and besides, who would want a werewolf?

•

She caught him one day in the Black family library, nearly a year after Remus first realised Tonks' feelings about him. The curtains were drawn back and held by ornate drape hooks; the sky was grey, and the rain-covered windows were fogged from the contrast of the cold temperature outside and the warmer climate indoors.

"You've been avoiding me," she accused, not even saying 'hello' beforehand.

Remus looked up from his armchair by the fire and sighed. "Good morning, Nymphadora," he said, "or is it afternoon? It's rather difficult to tell in this weather, isn't it?"

"Just look at the damn clock," Tonks said impatiently. "And if you _ever_ call me Nymphadora again, I'll hex your bollocks off."

The lycanthrope's eyebrows raised. "If you don't mind, _Tonks_ ," he emphasised her preferred name, "I'm quite attached to my bollocks."

"Good." Tonks plopped down in the armchair across from Remus. "As am I."

"You..." Remus flushed when he comprehended what she had said. "Tonks...why me?"

Tonks blinked. "Why you what?"

"Why do you want me?" he clarified. "Why an old, poor, unemployed werewolf like me instead of a young, rich man like you deserve?"

"Because you're you," she said softly. " _You're_ who I want, not some —" she made air quotes "— 'young, rich man.'"

Remus shook his head in amazement. He rose from his chair and crossed to the pink-haired Auror. Seemingly recognising the look in his eyes, she stood as well, and they faced one another in a moment of sudden shyness.

She made the first move. Standing on tiptoes, she tilted her chin up, and he leaned down to meet her. Their lips brushed in the sweetest kiss Remus had ever had.

As he pulled away, a flash of lightning illuminated Tonks's flushed face, and she had never looked so beautiful to him.

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 _word count: 1,058_

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 **gge prompts**

(pairing) remustonks

(scenario) first kiss

(scenario) lightning


End file.
